“… Maybe it really isn’t my time, yes I do fall in lust with all the wrong people, so that really doesn’t make it love.
I’ve tried to push myself on this person, I’ve said how I feel, I’ve sang love songs and written love poems even to her.”
He gave a dry laugh and gulped down some more of the coke from the bottle in his hands.
“My head hurts badly now, maybe I need panadol. It pains to know that my love loves someone else. I seriously have a bad headache now o! I could just be her side guy sef. I don’t see any reason to save money to travel out anymore. Aunty doctor, do you see this thing? You get the point ba?”
I nodded and urged him to carry on. Trying to give him the best of my rapt attention but actually my mind had been wandering for a while.
He continued, “It takes a heart to love and a heart to study, I can’t study. My heart isn’t in my studies. I just want to focus on something else. I want this to be the last straw o! Hmmm. I am so bleeping tired! Yes I used the bleeping word because that’s how I really feel right now.
Messed up, near useless, need to be truly loved, tired, weak, eaten up, tired. Don’t you see what she’s doing to me?” He asked.
“Yes, yes Jimmy. You must really like this girl.” I replied.
“Doctor Sade, do you think I can just madly be in love with my drums, games, or just go back to loving God? I’m tired of searching for love in all the wrong places. Her heart is with someone else, not with me. Please what do I do na? You’re like a big sister to me o! Help me.”
“Wow, Jimmy you’ve had a lot on your plate. Mhmm. What do you want to do now?”
Was all I could remember saying to Jimmy, my 14 year old nephew, as I wiped the sweat off my brow. He was asking me for help and there I was, asking him what he wanted to do.
What was I supposed to tell him when I myself was having the same issue with David, my current? Or perhaps near ex? I just sat and stared at him, wondering why a 14 year old would have all those emotions anyway. I couldn’t remember having crushes at 14, I was playing ‘who took my needle—bend down,’ not having crushes.
Anyway, I sat and listened to Jimmy as he went on and on about his girl. Obviously he just needed someone to confide in. I needed that too.